Lord of the Flies - William Golding

Who is the Lord of the Flies?

Except for one page in the book where this Lord has been mentioned, there is no reference to him anywhere else. And there also I was unable to understand what it means.

I did not like this book. Not at all.

10-12 years boys capable of so much savagery is unsavory to me. So many reviews of this book talk about humanity. What humanity? Where did they find it in this book? Or was it the lack of humanity they were talking about?

Most of the times I was not able to understand the imagery, the beast they are afraid of, the varied descriptions of the oceans and lagoons and pink rocks and what not. I didn’t get any of it. I might have been able to appreciate how the wrecked plane’s survivors slide into total barbarism had it been at least men in their twenties. But reading about small boys killing each other, yes 10-year olds “killing” each other, is something I can not, just CAN NOT, comprehend. And then I find out that this book forms part of compulsory reading in schools. Oh no, why do you want to teach young boys to be savage and barbaric? Let them reach there in their own sweet time.

Just looking at the human aspect might make sense especially in the last chapters, when the savages, as they are called, are hunting Ralph, it makes me think of how mobs behave in riots; how mobs create riots. How people lose all sense of "humanity", in fact how they lose all sense and kill innocents. May be humans are like that. Despite all pretence of being civilized and educated, may be that is what humans are. Savages.

But again, what was it about the beast? And the Lord? Who is the Lord of the Flies? No, seriously. Who is he?

Booker Award 2008

Targeting the Booker winners for sometime, I wanted to read the 2008 Booker Shortlist before the winner was announced. As there was not so much time left, I decided to do the best possible: Read as many of the 6 books as possible, starting with The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga. Never one to leave a book incomplete, I carried on with The Shadow Lines, while The White Tiger sat idle on my nightstand.

Finally starting with it, I found myself in bed after a few pages. No no, the book wasn't sleep-inducing, it was the typhoid bug catching up, sending me packing to Udaipur. Soon all I could do was just sleep and forget all about the stranded tiger! Early one morning I woke up to the TV buzzing loud. Amazed newsreaders marveling at the Indian writer who won the prestigious Man Booker Prize 2008 for The White Tiger!

What!

Was that a bad morning! A late riser, I was soon wide awake thinking of the still lazing tiger in my Bombay flat. Oh the frustration of knowing that I could have read the book unprejudiced, that I could have formed my honest opinion about it before knowing what the Booker jury thought of it and then judge how good (or bad) a judge I am!

I came back to Mumbai to find the tiger exactly where I left it. Three days in town and it is still at the same place. And I think it will continue being there for some more time. If it had been any of the other 5 books, I would not have minded but knowing what I had just missed was such a dampener, I still don't feel like reading it. As my chance is already lost, I will meanwhile find out how the world rates Aravind Adiga's creation. Read it I will, when, I don't know.

While I am on the topic of Booker winners, another thought. Having looked at book stores from Colaba to Powai, it is shocking how these books are simply not available!

"Do you have The Siege of Krishnapur?"
"What?"
"The Siege of Krishnapur, Farrell",
"Umm... Farrell, Krishnapur, who?"

Replace The Siege of Krishnapur by In A Free State, Oscar and Lucinda or the recent Vernon God Little, The Line of Beauty and the answer remains the same. Bookstore owners who know about thousands of books and authors on varied subjects have not even heard of these! They are of the opinion that Bookers don't really sell. Really? Is that true?

Still waiting (for more than a month!) for Landmark to deliver my online order for The Siege of Krishnapur, I will be glad if someone can me tell where I can buy these books in Mumbai. Also, waiting to hear from readers of The White Tiger!

City of Djinns: A Year in Delhi - William Dalrymple

This is a book about Delhi, not the Delhi we know now - the second largest metropolis in India. This book is about the Lutyen's Delhi, the Mughal Dilli, and the Dilli of a few thousand years. The Delhi which housed the most beautiful architecture of its era. Delhi, which has been the seat of power and the heart of India. And the Delhi which was torn into two in 1984 – the new Punjabi-settled rich Delhi and the old Urdu-speaking poor Dilli.

The city is not new to me. I have visited it on many occasions, both the newer posh areas like Connaught Place and the old city areas like the Red Fort. And of course we have all read about its history in our school text-books - how Aurangzeb overthrew his father and eventually led Delhi to its downfall. But none of those ever left an impression as strong and compelling as William Dalrymple's City of Djinns.

Dalrymple’s account of the capture of Delhi by Aurangzeb, the strained relations between his siblings, Jahanara’s hatred for her elder sister Roshanara leading to her betrayal of her own father - were amongst the most important historical insights this book provided. The author leads us into shattered Mughal palaces, inside the restricted zenana chambers, the caretakers of which were eunuchs. A stark contrast is shown in the position of eunuchs then and now. As against their despised status in society today, earlier they were the courtesans of the kings and rulers.

This was the first travelogue I read and humour was one of the last things I expected. Accompanied by many funny anecdotes, the style is witty and interesting. Wrapped in the writer's (and his wife’s) one year stay in Delhi, Dalrymple takes us through his landlady’s eccentricities, his taxi-driver’s drinking bouts, his meetings with Britishers who chose to stay back in India after 1947, misfit Anglo-Indians, old ladies claiming to be Mughal heiresses, hakims reluctant to part with their trade secrets, exciting scenes of patridge fighting and the heart-wrenching account of 1984 riots. There is a part devoted to Sufism in India, the trance like state attained by dervishes and even a visit to the dargah of Khwaja Moinuddin Chishti in Ajmer.

All this and much more about Delhi's rich heritage, which is chipping away like old paint on many of its forts, is explored in this beautiful travelogue. Dalrymple has ignited in me a desire to visit the Jama Masjid and old city of Dilli once again. To quote a friend: "City of Djinns converts the most staunch haters of Delhi to its new lovers.”

The Book Thief - Markus Zusak

The Book Thief. “The Extraordinary New York Times #1 BESTSELLER”

Oh really?

Unimpressive. Language. Overtly. Pretentious.
Undecipherable. Senseless. Metaphors. Incomplete.
Sentences.

Why, why would someone write like that? Too much repetition, big words which are not required, metaphors which don’t make sense at all. And colors. What is it with colors? Time and again, the author talks of colors. Red sky, gray road, blue sky. Am I missing something? The writing style looks forced upon. The detailed descriptions don’t make sense. Midway the story gets interesting or was it just curiosity getting the better of me? Beats me.

The setting being Germany, a lot of German words are thrown in, however unlike other books, the good thing here is that they are all explained. So now I know a bit of German too. Saukerl and Saumensch, mainly. Personally, I like books with small chapters and even smaller sections in it. Each time I move to a new chapter, it highlights my progress to me. In this aspect, The Book Thief gets full marks. Infact, this might be the only aspect in which it gets any marks at all.

(By the way, Saukerl & Saumensch is when you call someone a pig. Saukerl for a boy, Saumensch for a girl.)

The story was good. But too long. An uncommon narrator, Death, tells about the story of Liesel with her foster parents in Germany. In a country torn by war and hatred for Jews, there are some soul-touching moments. The friendship of Rudy and Liesel, the bonding between Liesel and Papa, the soft side of abuse-hurling Mama, the library of the Mayor’s bathrobe-covered wife, they are some things which make this 550 page book slightly worthwhile.

It certainly does not have what the raving reviews claim. All in all, for all those looking to read all the books in the world, I would suggest keeping The Book Thief for later.

Much later.

Good Omens - Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

There is an angel and there is a demon. Heaven and hell are conspiring to end the world and beat each other. The Armageddon is here. Anti-christ has been sent on earth to bring the end.

End of the world, devil, angel...uh..ohh...sounds too religious? Hold on!

The demon is a Bentley driving, sun-glasses sporting cool dude, who I am so in love with! And our dear angel Aziraphale is trying hard not to swear aloud! They have been living on earth too comfortably to want to go back to their respective homes. So they join hands to prolong D-day’s arrival. And to top it all, Anti-christ is a 13 year old boy roaming around in sneakers.

Hilarious doesn’t even begin to describe it!

Loads and loads of amazing one-liners, astute remarks on human nature mentioned so casually, you won’t even notice the sarcasm, this is one rocking comedy. Believe me, you won’t stop laughing. Also, unbelievably, this is a book written together by two authors. However, at no point is there a break in style. With touches of Douglas Adam at places, this is a book I simply loved!

Unless you are unable to take a joke when religion is in the picture, there is no doubt you will like this book! Enjoy!!

Siddhartha - Herman Hesse

Being not too keen on philosophy, I was skeptical about reading Siddhartha but a couple of chapters down, there was no going back. Not just that, I have already read it twice.

Written in an extremely simple yet potently powerful language, this book will force you to think. It will keep coming back to you as you look at everyday things, as you go through life.

Hesse’s philosophy is strikingly different from all others (I know) in its most basic premise on how to attain Nirvana. Instead of forgoing worldly pleasures and ties, it highlights the importance of accepting the world, the Sansara, as part of one’s self. Experience, not teachings and lessons, is the way to enlightenment.

A quick read, I do not claim it to be life-altering, but is surely worth a thought or two.

So what are you passionate about?

Do I have any regrets in life? Yes, I do. Many. But the one on the top right now is that I never cultivated deep passion for one particular activity. What do I do? Nothing. What do I looooove to do? Nothing. What is it that I want to do? Nothing. What am I good at? Nothing.

Oh if you ask me what my passion is, what my hobbies are, like a lot of sites do (Orkut, Facebook etc.), I will say I like music, what music, you say. Oh just anything. And what else? Hmm...hmm...I like reading.

No. I love reading.

Honestly, reading is the only thing that even closely qualifies to be called one of my passions. (Yes, I am sarcastic.) But it doesn't take much for this passion of mine to take a backseat. If I were so passionate about it, wouldn't I be spending time on it rather than simply passing time with it?

Some people are artists, some are hikers, some are photographers, what am I? I seem to be in an identity crisis. I want to be known for myself rather than just being an avid traveller and award-winning photographer's wife (hubby dear, please do not mind). Or let me rephrase that. While being an avid traveller and award-winning photographer's wife, I also want to be known for myself.

So does it make sense to look for a passion? To create a passion?

After a bit of soul searching, I found that I do not need to create one. It exists. All it needs is more focus. Reading. Yes, that is my passion!

I want to read all the books on the face of earth. Of course, that is not possible. But I want to read as many authors as possible, as many subjects as possible, as many books as possible. I want to read fiction and non-fiction, humor and politics (oh, I believe they are opposites), history and geography(?), romance and war. However, I do not want to read self-help-improve-your-life books. I don't like them.

There are a few ideas hovering in my mind. Like setting a target for the year or writing reviews of the books I read or something else. I will be back here once I figure this out.

A retake on some questions:
What do I do? Read. What do I looooove to do? Read. What is it that I want to do? Read. What am I good at? Still the same! Nothing! ;)

Cheers to my discovery!

Muss es sein? Es muss sein! Es muss sein!

Must it be? It must be! It must be!

This is how Milan Kundera describes his characters' needs in his book 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being'.

I had my eyes on this book for some time but when I could actually lay my hands on it, at a friend's place, I was a bit skeptical about it. The first review I heard was this: "Either you will love it or you will hate it. There is no middle way". I picked up the book. Two days later I am done reading it. I read a lot of online reviews however the one most precise is still the one I heard first. "Either you will love it or you will hate it. There is no middle way". And I love it!

Even though there was not much time to spare these last couple of days, I read it everywhere, home, office, even on the way to office. I did not want to put the book down, it is so fascinating. I wanted to keep reading it. So much so that as I approached the end I did not want to read it because I wanted it to go on forever.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being. What happens only once is as good as not happening at all. Because we have only one life, it does not matter. A decision can not be judged right or wrong unless we get the chance to go the other way as well. Because our only-once-lived-life does not matter, it makes our 'being' light. This lightness makes our life insignificant thus making the idea unbearable. Hence, the Unbearable Lightness of Being.

Fair enough, I'd say.

"Einmal ist keinmal"(once is nonce), Beethoven's "es muss sein!" (It must be!), Sabina's "Kitsch" summarize the theme. All at the same time, it is philosophical, ironical, sarcastic, humorous, sad and random!

When the subject matter is as random as this, I am amazed at the author's ability to make a book out of it. How people can make an organized (and sensible!) compilation of totally arbitrary thoughts amazes me. This is why I had liked 'A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' too.

I was reading 'The Kite Runner' before this. It was touching. Reading it made me sad. The subject matter of 'The Unbearable...' is sad too but reading it made me happy. Happy that I read the book for if I had not read it I would have missed out on something great!

Even though my liking to Kite Runner has taken a back seat in view of Unbearable.., it is a book I enjoyed reading. So much that Khaled Hosseini's other book, 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' is in my list of To-Read-Soon! Reading Kite Runner refreshed my old feeling of being-unable-to-put-the-book-down after a long time. Thanks to The Kite Runner, I am back in the reading race.

Empty Mind : Devil's Workshop

11 am. Tea.
Emails.
11.45 am. Tea.
News.
12.15 pm. Snacks. Mahabharata. 1 pm. Lunch. Mahabharata.
2 pm. News. 2.15 pm. Mahabharata. 2.30 Giveup. 2.35 Giveup. 2.40 Word Game. 3 Giveup. 3.15 Giveup. 3.40 Tea. Giveup. 4 Cack session. 4.15 Giveup.

So much time, so little to do!
That is my day in office today.
What do you do when you have nothing to do? It is ironical the way you find so many interesting things to do when there is work to be done and how you find simply nothing to do when there is time to spare!

My idea of finding solace in work does not seem to be working as there is no work. As the day goes on and as irritation grows on, other things come to mind.

As the emptiness echoes in my mind, the saying 'an empty mind is a devil's workshop' comes to mind. Is it true? Is it true that an empty mind can come up with devilish ideas? Devilish ideas, I don't know but negative ideas, definitely. As thoughts start forming, I realize it takes an effort to stop them from going in a certain negative direction. After it stops, again my mind fills up with negative things and goes on to add more negatives to them. It goes on and then with a start I realize I am doing it again. And again it takes a lot of effort to change their direction.

As the emptiness increases the negativity might take an evil turn. It might become devilish. May be that is how an empty mind becomes a devil's workshop. May be.

Me, gutless? No way! Really?

Modern. Educated. Independent. Practical. Aware of what is right and what is not. Capable of raising your voice against wrong done to you and/or others.
Is that what you think of yourself?

Scenario # 1
Out on a fun trip with friends, you come across some exotic animal. They think of catching it and making a meal of it. Assuming you think it is not correct (for obvious reasons), will you stop your friends from doing it? Will you atleast try?

I am sure the answer to this is yes. Let us change this slightly.

Scenario # 2
Same situation. Replace friends with people you would not want to piss off, say your boss. Will you be able to ask them to let the animal go? Will you be able to tell them exactly what you think of what they are doing? Will you stand up against wrong and tell them to let the poor animal go?

If you think yes, you will, good enough. Do tell me what you do if the situation ever arises.
If you think no, I think you are the better person. Atleast you have the guts to accept what you can't do.

After all the education and modernity, it is sad and disheartening to find out that most people can not stand up for their and others' rights. Things like not eating the animal's meat are just ways to ease your conscience of the guilt it carries. But do you think it frees you of the guilt of coming face to face with your own cowardice ?

It doesn't.

First Post

Thanks to Sanjay here I am on my first posting. After all the blogs that are floating, mine is quite late. Better late than never? Many times I thought of writing a blog. Unable to come up with a creative name, I always gave up. "toxicdebt" is good enough for now.

I have been writing a diary for many years now. I moved from a pen and diary to a hidden folder on my computer to an online diary. I was always unsure of making my writings public, expecting people to think I am so dumb. As soon as I found out I could keep my blog private, I jumped at the idea of having a blog. First thing I have done is to adjust the blog settings to private.

Given the time I have, I am expecting to be quite a regular blogger now.
So here's to happy blogging!